To the person reading this, the likelihood of you knowing me on a personal level is very slim. Therefore, I'm going to let you in on a little secret...my relationships! And no, I haven't got several relations with several guys, I'm talking about general relationships that I make with people.
The first one is with my partner though. I must admit, I am the luckiest woman in the world. My partner is so very understand about my mood swings (which are more like erratic zoo behaviours displayed by a stressed orang-utan with 3 arms). We've been together for 2 years now and as every couple has, we have our ups and downs, but the only way is up when it comes to him. He's been my rock and my strength throughout everything, the night terrors, the mental scare when I was first assessed to just crappy moods. If he ever found out I'd written publicly about him, he'd probably look like the 3 armed orang-utan! But that's one of the things I love about him! He's stubborn, never gives up on anything, especially me and I could never be more grateful. I owe him my life and when the day comes when he's on one knee (hopefully), I won't even hesitate. J has saved me in every way I could possibly be saved. I'm still here, writing this blog. I thank him for that. I love him.
My mother is the next relationship that is so important to me. She has been there for the last 19 years, putting up with all my shit and craziness. When I was younger, after my step-dad left, I didn't want to live with her anymore. I was 11 years old and my brother had been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. My mum, as the good mother she is, was looking after him the best she could, trying to handle it all on her own. I was selfish and ran away from home to my nans because that's where I wanted to live. I got attention there and I loved seeing my cousins Chelsea and Courtney. However, that night, an argument broke out between my nan and my mum and we stopped speaking to them. Almost 9 years later, I still don't talk to my nan or aunt, and I can't see my cousins, even though I now have two more, and I don't even know their names.
After all the drama, I told my mum how I felt, that I was only young, going through a massive transition in my life (high school - stupid right?). She looked at me, in a way that only a mother could and I knew she only wanted the best for me. She was a single mother looking after two relatively difficult children and she did an amazing job! Looking at where I am today, knowing I'm who I am thanks to my mother, I couldn't be happier. She's my bestfriend and I couldn't live without her.
Making friends however was always a bit harder though. I was always a shy kid, the one that would get bullied because she was smart and just wanted a bit of praise for it (still not a teacher's pet!). I made friends in my first school, Montem, but then left in the last year, never really made contact with them...because you know...I was 10. Moving to James Elliman wasn't the worst, but I made friends with a girl I went to nursery with! After that, I moved straight to an all girls school. I knew 2 people, one left and the other was too busy with her own life..but she was 11?? I always tried my best in school! I loved it, learning was the best, and I loved dancing and science! Even though my teacher Mrs Basu was a right prick!! The friends I eventually made in year 9, then stopped talking to me after I kissed the boy that she liked, BUT SHE DIDN'T TELL ME SO I DIDN'T KNOW! I'm not that kind of girl! Sixth form then led me to my dance dudes and biology buddies. They didn't last. Friends outside of school were just as bad! Bitching about me to MY MOTHER?!?! EH? I gave up putting effort into relationships that were pointless! The amount of energy spent was a loss to the amount of energy I was getting. You're not gonna run to the shop when you know its closed? It's a waste of time, like this friendship. However, there were two friends I could count on. I met them in year 8 and now we binge watch netflix with wine!! What more could you want! T and L are amazing! I love you both!
University friends though...OMFG! All I can say is how I have no idea how we got in. We're all fools and definitely a crazy bunch! I love them all to pieces and cannot thank them all for the help they've given me! Except you A, You screwed me over hard!
Relationships are so important in life, but make sure the outcomes of them are beneficial to you both!
All the love - L x
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